My Radical Donor Dad

Kate Reid

 

This tale took place on a sun-shiny morning

I walked into my new class with my two moms

I looked around, I didn’t know anyone else except me

It was my first day of grade three

 

We all sat down together in a circle on the floor

The other kids' moms and dads were everywhere

And when it was my turn to share, I said, “This is my family

But there's more to this story than you can see”

 

Chorus:

Cuz I've got a donor dad

Sweetest dad I ever had

He helped my two moms out

With his healthy sperm count

He donated a part of me

My moms created the rest of me

He's some kind of radical 

My radical donor dad

 

“Well, I know it's hard to understand,” I said, “But my moms are lesbians

They found my dad in a fertility clinic catalog

They read through piles of profiles, they inspected scads of dads

And when they found him, they knew he was quite the catch

 

He likes to ice-skate, eat rib-eye steak, he's one–quarter Cherokee

And he's smart just like me, he's even got his Ph.D

So, the doctor mixed him up with an egg inside my mom

And presto, nine months later, I was born

 

Chorus:

Cuz, I’ve got a donor dad

Sweetest dad I ever had

He helped my two moms out

With his healthy sperm count

He donated a part of me

My moms created the rest of me

He's some kind of radical

My radical donor dad

 

There was a knock later that morning on our classroom door

Our teacher opened it and two new students came walking in 

They looked exactly the same, their names were Mary-Claire and Ruby-Jane

Twin girls with green eyes and short, red curly hair

Well, I met up with Mary-Claire and Ruby-Jane outside at lunch

They were good at soccer and running, we even played a game of house
We became fast friends and were together until lunch hour was through

It seemed like we were more alike than I knew

 

When the bell rang at 3 o’clock, I ran outside to meet my moms

I talked about my day and the new friends that I made

Just then Mary-Claire and Ruby-Jane walked by to greet two men

Who were standing by the playground, holding hands

 

So, I walked up to them, I introduced my family

They all smiled, shook hands and chatted for a while

Then one of my moms politely asked, “So, who's the mother of the twins?”

And Mary-Claire and Ruby-Jane proudly exclaimed,

 

Chorus:

We've got a surrogate mom

Sweetest mom and then some

She donated her uterus

So our two dads could parent us

She was inseminated

We did our part and germinated

She's some kind of wonderful

Our wonderful surrogate mom      

 

Chorus:

I've got a donor dad

Sweetest dad I ever had

He helped my two moms out

With his healthy sperm count

He donated a part of me

My moms created the rest of me

He's some kind of radical

My radical donor dad